random

i felt emo out of sudden..especially after reading my friend's blog. While reading his/her post, many questions come across my mind. I wonder am i too stupid to survive or not smart enough to survive at here? or i am smart but no effort in me to fully use my smartness to get maximun utility?
There are times where i really feel like giving up when my hardwork did not give me an outcome that i satisfied. But still..there are family and friends that kept remind me i had did my best just do better next time. I am so dilemma.. T_T

I have so much things to say but i do not how to carry on..i feel heavy on my shoulders..i am sick with this kind of pressure..im sick living in this condition..i am sick! i am really sick!

I..just don't know how to go on..
I..feel really helpless..
I..want to be baby again..

2009(past) vs 2010(future)

can i just write this without posting any pictures??
whatever..i might edit it with pictures if there are feed backSSSS from you all..

~.^ and ^.~
another year pass
i am getting older but gaining more experience
this 2009 is not the year i hope for
i feel year 2009 brings alot of bad luck to me
except one thing that i could remember now
It is 'something' i really want in year 2009
It's also one of my birthday wishes.. ❤
you can refer my last year blog post..just click on this --> FeeLinGs

Kuang Yau, thanks for being someone important in my life!
thanks for all you love and care!! ❤
thanks for being my rainbow whenever i feel the my world just white and black
thanks for everything and i really love you!! ❤

Other than getting myself a very good boy friend, let me list down other good things that happen in year 2009!

1. I get to represent my university, my college and my blok in volleyball tournament!! =)
   
2. My singing skill getting better cause i can sing higher note compare to last time!
3. Went Redang Island as I always hope for with my besties!!
4. Also, went to Genting Highland with besties for the first time!!
5. Improved my leadership and also confidence in me!!
   
6. Learned how to make spaghetti and soya milk!! XD
7. Became cashier during MPH Book Fair in Taiping Sentral!!
8. Went singapore with family for the first time!!

anymore? I cant think of any.. perhaps, i am now thinking about sui-ness that happen to me..let's proceed with the sui-ness that happen in year 2009!! =((

1. Lost my camera, Sony T77 in KLCC! =(
   
2. Got cheated in Puduraya bus station! =(
   
3. Lost my pencil box in bus! =(
4. Can't celebrate birthday with family and friends in Taiping..3rd year already..i hardly celebrate with my friends cause my birthday is always somewhere near to exams =( But i still happy to receive their present and cards! Thanks!
   
5. Got chicken pox during study leave.. =((
6. Laptop spoiled! =(
7. Did badly in both final exams.. T.T
8. Disappoint my family and waste alot money though I spent from JPA scholarship!! I'm sorry!!
9. Sick with tonnes of group projects!! Cause some of my group member were really irresponsible and act like its none of their business after throw you some ideas..
   
10. Very bad temper(its not sui-ness but i think its bad) towards people when they didn't do things like what i want.. =/

what else le? I can't remember dy..
In conclusion, i don't really like year 2009..it doesn't bring luck to me.. =/
Hopefully in year 2010 it would be better! It has to be better!!
Hmm..what's my expectation in year 2010??

Actually i have a few things in mind but I don't feel like share it in my blog..bleks!!
okla..tell you some, i want to improve my cgpa and lose weight! And control my temper(not so easily get angry).
My friends hardly to know when im really angry cause i don't like tell them face to face. I will just keep in heart then complain to somebody else that i trust.
Is it wrong or weird? I don't dare to scold them but inside my heart really very angry and geram! =/
Anyway, i always feel better after talk with my darling and aimei..hehe!

p/s: its 2.22am now..im going to sleep dy! good night everyone!

my holidays ending soon. i didn't feel exited and plan something great before i leave taiping this sunday. i just feel like staying at home msn, facebook, and watching dramas. i'm getting lazy also. lazy to do anything.

hopefully i can enjoy to max in Malaysian Accounting Student Conference(MASC) next week. no doubt, the commitee members from UM did really well especially publishing team. other teams i'm not sure because so far i can only interact with those from publishing. and guess what, i always anxious to receive their forward emails. it was so creative, motivating and let me feel im making the right choice to go MASC. =) I wish to meet my bestie there, sok kim. I'm sure she will say i'm fatter alot! ahahaha.. i won't deny that cause i feel im getting fatter also.. i in my process to diet but its not strict enough.. =(

yesterday i got quite big 'tamparan'..but i get over them already..so no worries! =)
right now, i'm wishing the time can pass faster..really fast..

Let me tell you my incoming plan before arrival of 2010 =)

13th dec - going back kl

14th ~ 17th dec - going MASC in UM

16th dec - get my year 2 sem 2 final result.. *worriessssss*

18th dec - stay at relative's hse in kl

19th dec - going christmas party at UCSI..i wanna pamper and dress myself like princess on that day..too bad i don't have camera now..or else i wish i can take alot..really alot picture and post in facebook..it has been a while i didnt upload photos or create a new album.. =(

20th dec - going back UKM *happy and sad at the same time..happy cause i can meet my roomie and coursemates..and i might start my tennis training for coming tournament..i hope i will be chosen to represent my college..=)*

21st dec - i might go back taiping or might not..depends my mood on 20th night.. *note that! my class actually starts on 21st..so if im going back taiping means i ponteng my classes*

24th ~ 26th dec - im going singapore with family to celebrate christmas! *whee~ cant wait cant wait!!! again, i need a camera!!! =/ i feel like buying a new camera NOW!! grrr..*

I'm going to miss the caroling practise with my choir friends..sorry! family come first..maybe next year? since i still have 2 more years in UKM..